On a Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D. C., House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's aide visited the Catholic Cardinal-Archbishop of Washington, D.C.
He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's sermon, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.
The Cardinal replied, "What have you been smoking, Sonny? No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi's view. Maybe--heh-heh--you should try that in, say, Chicago?"
Pelosi's aide then said, "Look, 'priest' ... I know yer' soft-spot ... I'll write a check, here and now, for a donation of $100,000 to your Archdiocese if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint."
The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
The aide sneered: "Ah, ha! Gotch'a, 'priest'! Seller-outer! Prince of 'the Church', eh? PPffft! Opportunistic, typical sell-out-for-a buck PRIEST!!! My 'boss' will have lotsa fun with this---best 100k we ever spent! But, for now ... you enjoy the dough--'priest'--, and, uh, we'll just love your sermon! Heh-heh-heh."
The cardinal just smiled. And, of course, took the money. As Pelosi's aide promised, House Speaker Pelosi appeared for the Sunday sermon and seated herself prominently at the edge of the main aisle. And, during the sermon, as promised, the Cardinal pointed out that House Speaker Pelosi was present.
Then the Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation:
"While Speaker Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, she is not my favorite person. Some of her views are contrary to those of the church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other views. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using it to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington, and in California. She simply is not to be trusted."
The Cardinal completed his view of Pelosi with, "But, when compared to legislators likeTed Kennedy, Barney Frank, Harry Reid, and John Kerry, House Speaker Pelosi is a saint."
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