8. His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is "That Bob Vila guy".
7. Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares.
6. Got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Sally Struthers with a chocolate donut.
5. Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC thingie?"
4. At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna wrestle?"
2. Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, "I win!"