An Amish farmer, walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.
The Amish man shouts: "Trink das Wasser nicht. Die Kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." Which means:
"Don't drink the water, the cows have sh!t in it."
The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I do not understand your gibberish... Speak English, infidel!"
The Amish man calmly says: "Use two hands, and you'll get more!"
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